Today, I am 65. It's a little bit unnerving since I was part of the generation that went around saying "Never trust anyone over 30." Anyone besides me remember that? I have successfully (I hope) waded through the Medicare morass and managed to get through Medicare part D ( I hope). It seems like it was simpler in my parents' day. Nostalgia not withstanding, I would not want to go back to those days. My life as a kid was not all that much fun since mom and dad were not very happy together and often expressed their anger violently. My poor brother and I got a lot of fallout from their problems. I believe he and I managed to break that cycle and raise our kids a little more gently.
Somehow, I thought it would be different at this age. Yes, the doctor says I am doing fine and it's only the heart medication that is making my face red and my hair thin. I can live with that. But I had thought I would be rich, in a happy relationship and not have to work any more. I read, but don't participate in, a chat thingie that features the people I graduated high school with. The reason I don't participate is that the people who post on there are married, mostly retired and taking trips to Cancun or other wonderful warm places. Of course, I'm sure there are lots of people who aren't posting because they are, like me, too busy going to work or taking care of family.
On the other hand, maybe I am rich. I don't have a husband or boyfriend but the kids are close by and the grandkids are all around. The house hasn't fallen down yet, the car is still running and the dogs and cats are all sweethearts. There are lots of friends and the job isn't too hard. Doesn't pay much but it isn't too hard.
I read that older people get depressed because they have to face reality. The body isn't as beautiful and there are less years in the future and less energy to accomplish one's dreams or to travel or to find love. Crying yourself to sleep only makes your face puffy in the morning. However, if one really looks at it, there are plenty of things that one has managed to do while stumbling along. I certainly have had a few adventures - some that might curl a reader's hair. There were the hitch hiking years (don't recommend it), the meth addiction (don't do that either, bad, bad), the crazy and dangerous husband (well, that was kind of fun), the good husband (father of the kids, grandfather of the grandkids), returning to college and working. It's hasn't been all bad nor has it been all good.
You wanna know a scary sound in the middle of the night? The sound of a cat puking. Like, where is it...should I go find it now or wait until morning...will I step in it? Ugh.
Tomorrow will be better.
Pat
Greenleaf Coven
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Pagans Have To Shop, Too
Today, the grandkids and I are going to Walmart. I know I'm spelling it wrong but I refuse to capitalize it. I have a love/hate relationship with the place. We have all heard how the huge stores end up eliminating the cozy old timey mom and pop stores in the neighborhoods and I remember some of those. One time my kids stopped at a little store in the neighborhood and came home with candy, an Elvis record and a kitten. They spent less than a dollar. Well, the kitty was free.
If we go to Walmart now, we get candy, groceries, clothes, dog food, cat food, fish food, tropical fish (no kittens, much less an Elvis record) and we spend at least $100. That's the part I hate. On the other hand, often I see mom and pop in there shopping and you can get a puppy or a kitty if you stop at the cars and trucks at the edge of the parking lot.
Times change. Like everyone else, I sometimes yearn for a simpler time when we were younger but that isn't how it is. If we didn't go to the superstores and spend our money, the superstores wouldn't exist.
What I love about Walmart is that it is the new melting pot of the nation. Here, sooner or later, we see everybody. I have seen Asians, Mexicans, Europeans and Muslims (It's a shame that they were a little uncomfortable - a young couple with a baby.). I have heard many languages and accents. Of course, I've also run into friends. I've seen happy parents, grandparents with happy children. I've also seen miserable families. Most people will make eye contact and smile while others are so unhappy that the anger leaks out of their eyes.
I've seen fights and have seen employees chase down a man wielding a knife.
If you smile first, young people will smile back. A few people are distracted by their thoughts and look right through you. My favorite is the older person for whom the trip to Walmart is their social contact in what might otherwise be a lonely life. They will chat with you about just about anything. We are a social race, we humans, and isolation can be a painful thing.
Walmart provides jobs. We have all heard of the NoOvertimePayNoInsurance issues with employees but Wally World is not the only company guilty of this. Some of the agencies I've dealt with over the years limit their employees hours to 39 so they don't have to provide insurance or, and this is a favorite, no holiday pay. Always the same.
Life is tough. Get over it. At least it's a job.
Since the growth of superstores appears to be inevitable, I suggest we grin and bear it. If we spend too much money there, we probably need to learn moderation. Not an easy task, I admit, especially when the grandkids come along. The superstores are the old fashioned markets of days gone by. Instead of wandering from booth to booth, chatting with neighbors and merchants and paying each one individually, we wander from area to area and chat with neighbors and employees and then go pay in one big chunk. It's not that different.
If we go to Walmart now, we get candy, groceries, clothes, dog food, cat food, fish food, tropical fish (no kittens, much less an Elvis record) and we spend at least $100. That's the part I hate. On the other hand, often I see mom and pop in there shopping and you can get a puppy or a kitty if you stop at the cars and trucks at the edge of the parking lot.
Times change. Like everyone else, I sometimes yearn for a simpler time when we were younger but that isn't how it is. If we didn't go to the superstores and spend our money, the superstores wouldn't exist.
What I love about Walmart is that it is the new melting pot of the nation. Here, sooner or later, we see everybody. I have seen Asians, Mexicans, Europeans and Muslims (It's a shame that they were a little uncomfortable - a young couple with a baby.). I have heard many languages and accents. Of course, I've also run into friends. I've seen happy parents, grandparents with happy children. I've also seen miserable families. Most people will make eye contact and smile while others are so unhappy that the anger leaks out of their eyes.
I've seen fights and have seen employees chase down a man wielding a knife.
If you smile first, young people will smile back. A few people are distracted by their thoughts and look right through you. My favorite is the older person for whom the trip to Walmart is their social contact in what might otherwise be a lonely life. They will chat with you about just about anything. We are a social race, we humans, and isolation can be a painful thing.
Walmart provides jobs. We have all heard of the NoOvertimePayNoInsurance issues with employees but Wally World is not the only company guilty of this. Some of the agencies I've dealt with over the years limit their employees hours to 39 so they don't have to provide insurance or, and this is a favorite, no holiday pay. Always the same.
Life is tough. Get over it. At least it's a job.
Since the growth of superstores appears to be inevitable, I suggest we grin and bear it. If we spend too much money there, we probably need to learn moderation. Not an easy task, I admit, especially when the grandkids come along. The superstores are the old fashioned markets of days gone by. Instead of wandering from booth to booth, chatting with neighbors and merchants and paying each one individually, we wander from area to area and chat with neighbors and employees and then go pay in one big chunk. It's not that different.
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